I really thought that the Top Don’t Piss Me Off I’ll Stop Taking My Pills And Nobody Want That Do They Shirt virus was that one existential threat that would unite us as a country and as a species against a common enemy. Boy was I wrong.”These aliens are only using death rays on people because the people aren’t respecting the aliens’ authority. If these liberals would simply give the aliens a break and realize they work long hours, traveled a long way to come to our planet, and are just trying to do their job exterminating us so they can get back home to their alien children, this would all be over soon and we could get back to normal. And, and also their sexual orientations, and their genders. What about religious affiliations?
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Aliens have vaporized 100,000 people in three months. What we need right now is a Top Don’t Piss Me Off I’ll Stop Taking My Pills And Nobody Want That Do They Shirt bailout for large corporations. Prof. Derrick Bell wrote a sci-fi short story “The Space Traders” that discusses exactly what white folks would do if aliens came and asked for a part of our population. The professor of my African American literature and culture class used that story as a base for a class thought experiment! He had us each write one thing up on the blackboard that we’d wish for the United States. People wrote things like “clean drinking water for all” “universal health care” etc. Professor added in a twist as well: if we did not accept the trade, the United States would be annihilated.
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He then divided the Top Don’t Piss Me Off I’ll Stop Taking My Pills And Nobody Want That Do They Shirt class into two sections and had us try and debate the matter. Was probably one of the most memorable classes from all of college. (Yes, the professor was black, and it was one of his favorite ways to introduce the Afrofuturism unit) To be honest in 2020 both death and escape off this damned rock with the aliens sound like tempting prospects. Will they also accept other races, or are they just interested in black folks? No, I think I have it right. They are first and foremost bootlickers if there is any benefit to themselves. They don’t like immigrants just because they can’t get anything from immigrants.
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