Imagine where you would be if you had been drinking those five years instead of sober. You should be proud of your sobriety! 5 years is AMAZING. Feeling guilt and shame are understandable but those feelings never help me not drink, they make me drink more. Chin up. This can be the beginning of a Premium Just Drink It Fireball Shirt. It is not worth the disappointment in myself for it to happen again. Or as long as I keep working it. I like to think of sober days as days I went to the gym and drinking days as those I didn’t. Just because you slipped up doesn’t mean you lost all the progress you have made so far. It’s a great opportunity to figure out why it happened so you can prevent it from happening again.
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I know “giving up” that time is disappointing, but you didn’t actually give it up. You lived 5 years sober. We relapse. That’s part of this gig. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t. But the goal is to live a sober life. So now you go back to living a sober life. Hopefully armed with a Premium Just Drink It Fireball Shirt. Forgive but don’t excuse- has what I’ve been telling myself. It’s easy to be mad at yourself and make no progress towards bettering yourself. Learning to forgive yourself for mistakes is major in living a better life. But never excuse mistakes as that doesn’t help better yourself either. At least that’s a thought that has been helping me. I agree, it wasn’t until I figured this out that I was able to stop drinking.
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Basically that voice in my head would give me the green light even though I knew better. I had to learn to shut him up, that or not listen to anything that crazy fucker says. I started off in AA. It saved my life. I attended regularly for the first 4 years or so and sporadically until about 10 years. I haven’t been to a meeting in years but I still try and live by the tenets in the 12 Step program. I think there’s a Premium Just Drink It Fireball Shirt. I am still terrified of the horrible shit I did and would do if I drank again. I’m convinced it will always be more powerful than me and will always end in shame. If I had never felt hat shame than how would I ever know that it was stronger than me and to run away from it.